The Compulsive Splicer: The Loreniuska Interview

Thank you, Loreniuska for these questions.

1. What is your biggest regret in life?

First the cop-out answer: i don’t really have any regrets. I’ve made some bad decisions, but they’ve all led to me being where I am right now, and most of the things I wish I could have done differently I couldn’t have known why it was wrong until after I’d done the wrong thing. But that’s a kind of philosophical view, and I do have painful memories, things I look back at and cringe.

There are things like, “I wish I hadn’t treated so and so so badly.” Liisa, who I dated when I was 22 and then avoided after she came to visit me at my parents’ house because being in close quarters with her for a week we each got on one another’s nerves and i was glad to see her go. But she was really great and didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I file her under regret because I don’t know how to get in touch with her.

Then there’s I regret having sex at 17 basically to get my friends off my back about never having had sex. Talk about wrong reasons! And that pretty much shaped a lot of my life from there forward.

I think what I have to say is my single greatest regret is how I live my life on a daily basis. Every day that I don’t give my best to my clients, every day that I don’t pray and meditate, every day I don’t tell the people I love that I love them, every day that I don’t draw or sketch, every day that I don’t ride my bicycle to see more of this beautiful city I live in; I’m not sure there can be a greater regret than how far I’ve fallen short of my ideals almost every day of my life.

2. What is the most valuable lesson life has taught you so far?

Fixing things outside myself doesn’t help. I can’t make my life better by moving 100, 1,000, or 3,000 miles. That’s why I’m thinking that maybe 8,000 will work.

The concept of dharma is that life and life lessons are not different ideas. Dharma is my life; the question is whether I am the attentive student of life in the front row, or the Goofus in the back row.

3. What is the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do?

Survive my last breakup. I know that other people are even more sick of hearing about Victoria than I am of mentioning her, but February, March and April of 2001 were probably the worst trials I had to face. My first two weeks of sobriety were pretty fucking bad too, but I think that probably gets first runner-up. It’s hard to tell, because as time goes by, the memory of pain fades, and getting sober happened a lot farther back.

4. When have you been happiest in your life? What moment, with whom, doing what?

When I was 16 years old, I published a nationally-distributed comic book. The all-nighters that Tim and I pulled making it all happen were the best time of my life. We had music, and plenty of work that we loved. We worked hard and walked to the grocery store to get caffeinated beverages and spent a lot of time really being a part of what we were doing. It was the last time I felt real teamwork and real ownership over my work, and the last time I did any sustained work at anything I was good at.

5. Describe you dream vacation, and who would you go with?

I’d like to spend a couple weeks on the beaches of Cuba with my 17-year-old girlfriend. There’s something delicious about the number of Federal laws I’d be breaking.

Seriously, I think it would be a bicycle tour with my father. We’ve talked about going across the U.S., but if it’s my dream vacation, I think maybe it would be a bike tour through Australia. Or hell, maybe my dad and I could take a bike tour around Cuba! Who knows?

THE RULES!
1 – Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 – I will respond; I’ll ask you five questions.
3 – You’ll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 – You’ll include this explanation.
5 – You’ll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.