OK, fuck it. I need goals

I hate making goals because then I might fail at them. Well, tough shit. As SuperSleuth says, “I’m not afraid to be a failure.” Well, I am afraid to be a failure, but I guess I can “act as if” for a few minutes to document some goals. If I’m gonna screw up, I may as well do it in front of everyone else and not try to pretend that things are going according to plan.

So, by the time Burning Man rolls around, I want to weigh 70 kilos and be able to benchpress my own weight in sets of eight.

Right now, I weigh 83 kilos and I can benchpress 55 on a good day. That makes my body weight 13kg too high and my bench 15 too low. Burning Man is August 25th, basically four months away. Early gains always come faster than late ones, so my early goals will have to be more ambitious than the later ones. This is compounded by the fact that muscle is denser than fat, and so as I build strength I’ll be putting on weight as I go along. So for my weight I’m going to set goals like so: 1st month 40%, 2nd month 30%, 3rd month 20%, and fourth month 10%. For my benching goals I’ll divide it a little bit more evenly: 30%, 25%, 25%, 20%.

So my bench goals:

April 18: 55kg (121 lbs)
May 15: 59.5kg (131 lbs)
June 15: 63.25kg (139 lbs)
July 15: 67kg (147.4 lbs)
August 15: 70kg (154 lbs)

and my weight goals:

April 18th: 83kg (183 lbs)
May 15: 77.8kg (171 lbs)
June 15: 73.9kg (163 lbs)
July 15: 71.3kg (157 lbs)
August 15: 70kg (154 lbs)

That means that my most aggressive weight loss will be in the next month, dropping 5.2kg, or 11.5 pounds. That’s significant, but I don’t think it’s in the crash-diet range.

I have no idea if these goals are realistic or anything, but I need to have some sort of metric to see where I’m going. I suppose I could make up some cycling and running goals too, but I’ll think about those later.