Benefits of Honesty

Yes, integrity is its own reward, but I sometimes find myself surprised at the benefits of my attempts at being a more honest person. I’ve heard it said before, but it’s easier. I don’t pretend to be perfectly honest, but I am better than I used to be.

It’s easier for the obvious reasons. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a fabrication. Some people are really good at it, but keeping track of what I’ve told whom is hard work. Also, anyone who is even the least bit perceptive is likely to pick up on inconsistencies. They may not have a clear trail of what doesn’t match, Sherlock Holmes-style, but their spidey-sense is going to start telling them something just doesn’t add up.

The first thing that helps is to be more honest with myself, and to pay attention. Most of the time when I’m tempted to make stuff up it’s because I don’t want to admit that I don’t know. When I pay better attention, I have more material to pull from reality and less temptation to make wild conjecture and pretend it’s truth. Being honest with myself, especially about things I’d rather avoid, likewise gives me more material and a better feeling that what I say is accurate as I am saying it.

Still, I’ve been surprised by it repeatedly. Today I had an example, and it inspired my writing today. I was writing an email to someone from whom I want something. As I recounted events, I became aware of an uncomfortable feeling that I was spin-doctoring the account to make the request sound more reasonable. So I stopped and looked over the email with a mild feeling of guilt, and to my surprise realized that what I read was the truth.

It wasn’t a case of me telling someone what suited my agenda, it was a case of my agenda being based in my honest perception of reality. So now I can send this email off without any guilt or fear. Yes, the email supports my point of view, but that’s the point of communicating. The nagging feeling of guilt was a protection mechanism in my mind to make certain that I wouldn’t get caught in a lie. The relief was to see it was unnecessary, the benefit of an overall effort to resist dishonesty in my own actions.