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Someone asked me which picture I liked for Best Picture. I thought about it for a moment and responded that I didn’t know what pictures had been nominated. After a few seconds, I added that I didn’t think I’d probably seen any of the nominees. She said,

I got my paycheck yesterday. My first thought today was, «better make sure to spend it all before I do something stupid with it.»

You’re The Dictionary! by Merriam-Webster You’re one of those know-it-all types, with an amazing amount of knowledge at your command. People really enjoy spending time with you in very short spurts, but hanging out with you for a long time tends to bore them. When folks really need

Got some cheap entertainment last night. In my dream, I went to a party thrown by Mister Bad and Majnoona. I didn’t know anyone at the party and I spent the time there resentful and jealous as I examined the floors and rooms of their new home (a place

For years I went through headphones the way that some people go through sunglasses or ballpoint pens: I’d get the cheapest earbuds I could find and use them until they fell apart. And they worked fine for me until one day with money burning a hole in my pocket

Yeah, I mean all the ones who were saying the sky was gonna fall if that fascist motherfucker Gavin Newsom were elected mayor of San Francisco. Well, I hope he’s done a good enough job of proving himself to be just another stooge of the Republicans. Right on, man.

I’m trying to find the loudest, least romantic music in my collection. I think Fear: The Record is near the top of the list, but they lose points for their cover of “We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.”